Thursday, March 19, 2009

Confetti

Ladies and Gentlemen... CONFETTI!

It is finished, the divorce is final. Thank you for your love, prayers, support, encouragement and laughter. I thank God for the laughter.

I wasn't expecting the hurt to come. It's there though, like a death. I guess I was so worried about getting out I never grieved the loss. Was every day of 7 years bad? No. But the whole was greater than the sum of it's parts; it was bad enough that this had to happen. Turn the wheel and break the chain though right? The cycle of abuse must stop here.

I used to say I would be happy if I could teach my children only two things - Follow Jesus and have good credit. Equally important - break the chain. I refuse and rebuke the idea that my sons would ever think this kind of warped relationship is right. My daughter musn't ever know what this road feels like. I'll be damned if I watch her earn the t-shirt.

So I'll celebrate that,
Carolynn

18 comments:

Dawn said...

Happy new beginnings!

Be blessed.

Susan said...

As a child who grew up witnessing my mother be abused by her husband (who I will refrain from referring to as my stepfather because that he never was), I commend you for removing your children and yourself from that situation. I promised myself I would never date or marry someone who treated me that way and it scares me to think how close I came at one point in college to doing just that. As terrible a period as that was in my life, the things I witnessed taught me exactly what I did not want for myself in the future. I pray your children will have learned the same lesson and that the chain is most certainly broken!

God Bless you as you move forward!

SuperAunt said...

What the heck....who says you can't teach someone new things. I do believe you have now earned the T-shirt my lady. I will bring it with me when I see you!!!! One more lesson, remember to pay it forward and to pass your experiences on. Someone out there needs your insight to be able to put one foot infront of the other and get through, just like you are.

Love you, SLC

Blessed said...

I'm thankful that you were able to get out and I know your children will benefit from the lessons you've learned.

forever folding laundry said...

And your kids will thank you for that one day!! Fitting for the first day of Spring, no? =)

~Keri

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

Glad for you and for the hope of the future. I think you'll shape it all just fine. :)

Sara@i.Sass said...

Ooh confetti is FUN! When it's not in MY house. It's such a mess to clean up. Ok scratch all that...it could be taken out of context.
It's been a while since you posted and I was wondering what you've been up to.
I glad it is final for you. Breaking the chain it NOT an easy thing to do.
I wish I could come and ease your pain...we could both go out and bury our chains eh?
Blessings and Love my friend. Blessings and Love!

Rach@In His Hands said...

Bring on the confetti......but I can completely see how it doesn't come without some heartache. The Lord has amazing plans for you and those precious kiddos of yours! Be blessed friend....

Ron said...

I am thrilled you have made it through ..

There is a line in a poem I wrote 6 years after my divorce .. "Not if it was the right thing, not if it was the wrong thing, it was the only thing" ..

Times will come without being invited when you will question with your heart .. I want you to remember, you did the only thing ..

Children need to see a loving relationship .. not just to be sheltered from abuse, but to see that a true loving relationship involves loving touches, caresses, and other stolen moments ..

You did the only thing ..

Growin' with it! said...

what you've taught those 4 sweet eyes watching you is something i hope lifts your chin high for years and years to come. you are one BRAVE woman and i am proud of you.

Granny on the Web said...

I am happy you have 'come-through-it'; in one piece too!
I think you will get over this grief period, but let yourself grieve, you have lost what was a hope, a happy marriage.
Now you can concentrate on those children and your self worth.
Well done YOU!
With Jesus on your side... no contest.

Domestically Disabled Girl said...

You are amazing. What a source of strength and inspiration you will be to your children because of this. Stay strong.

Brooke said...

Yay to confetti and yay to you! Happy new beginnings! You are a strong woman and your children will look back and be so proud of you.

Boy Mom said...

Hey there, glad I made you laugh, laughing is good.

Congrats! My prayers are heading your way for the moments of pain and the ability to teach your children with the grace of Christ.

Blessings!

imbeingheldhostage said...

Oh sweetie, even the worst experiences need to be mourned. You made a commitment to someone and opened your heart and he didn't keep his end of the bargain-- of course you're going to hurt. The important thing is to not allow the good memories to bleed over the bad (speaking from experience here) so that you forget why you walked away. You are brave, you are strong and you are a terrific example for your daughter-- she's not going to ever want the t-shirt. Here's to new, shiny beginnings!

Debbie said...

Sorry I am late to comment. Been busy with my kids.
I am so glad this chapter is finished and you can close the book on this one! Just be happy!

Heather of the EO said...

I like Debbie am late to comment. But I still have to say that you rock. You're right, not every day and every moment were bad, I'm sure. BUT you did the right thing in breaking this chain. You're an amazing woman. (And so funny too)

Michelle M. said...

Sorry I have been out of touch with reading blogs recently. I pray that things have calmed down for your since the divorce. Enjoy the peace that comes after the terrible storm you went through.