Friday, September 11, 2009

By the Numbers

Me + My 3 = 4
on MN weekends for the briefest of moments 4 + X = 5
then 5 - 4 = Me

It's still a process, the recovery of divorce, for me and my 3. Just today I met with my son's Kindergarten teacher... he's that child in her class, they're less than 3 weeks into the year and we're having emergency planning meetings. I wanted a partner in it. My partner. But that's not how it is. So I will talk to X about it tomorrow, but it's very different from talking with him.

We are not 5. We are each 1 that share 3.

It still holds me by the throat sometimes.

This morning as I took it to God I tried to Be Still and Know - but I couldn't, I was Running to the Mercy Seat.

He said that I could come into His presence without fear; into the holy place where His mercy hovers near - I'm runnin' to the mercy seat. Where Jesus is callin' He said His grace would cover me. His blood will flow freely, it will provide the healin', come runnin' to the mercy seat. (Mercy Seat - Vicki Yohe)

Let us then approach the throne of grace with confidence, so that we may receive mercy and find grace to help us in our time of need. (Hebrews 4:16)

Please pray for my son. He's been through a lot. But he is smart. He is able. And he is loved.

Jude 1:2,
Carolynn

6 comments:

Dawn said...

Oh, Carolynn... praying for all of you today. Change and stress can manifest itself in unusual ways in the best of us, let alone the littlest of us.

Be blessed.

Steph @ Diapers and Divinity said...

He is loved. And God knows him better than his teacher, or even you. My only advice: Remind him often who he is (Child of God) and how much he is loved.

Sara@i.Sass said...

Praying friend.
I heart your posts. I'm gonna come to the Mercy Seat too.

Erin K. said...

Praying!!

Blessed said...

Wishing all the best for you and your three. I realize that for you this divorce was oh so necessary but it is still oh so hard on you and your three.

special prayers today for this one who is struggling, and for you and X to be able to work through this "together" for your son's best interest.

Heather of the EO said...

I just love your heart.