Sunday, September 27, 2009

The Code Word Is Charlotte

Every other weekend X and I meet halfway for his visitation. It's 5 hours of driving on those Fridays and another on Sundays. Whew! The last hour home is fierce; my kiddies have had it.

Today I employed a ruse and brought my parents' dog Cosmo with. Let me be the first to pass out high fives because he totally did the trick. For the first time no one was whining lemme out of this car!

On a semi related topic (hang in here with me), tonight I saw an update from my Australian pal's blog called Pigs Dust & Spiders. I warily opened her page because I'm very arachnophobic... (coast was clear, it was really cute) but it made me think of what I wrote last fall.

Here is an edited version of The Code Word is Charlotte...
On our last 5 hour road trip I had to make an important call. I find that I emit a pheromone when I'm on the phone, especially so in a moving car, that prompts my children to howl like wolves and hyenas. They're so charming sometimes.

I'm talking and every few seconds I get a, "mom, Mom, MOM!" to which I reply, "could you just hold on one second, don't you see I'm on the phone with your father?" This went on and as usual, ended when my call did. "What?! what was so important?" and then my son said it, "I saw a spider in the car."


Stay calm, do NOT panic. (I'm so panicking) Ok. Deep breaths.
Where is it?
I don't know anymore.
Well I saw it walking around on the ceiling but it's not there now.
Where did it go? Better yet, why didn't you tell me??
I tried but you said to wait cause you were on the phone.
Uh-oh, this is totally my fault.
I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry for shushing you sugar pie. Now, tell me exactly, where did it go?
Well it crawled around on the ceiling but I lost it when it got to your door.
Now is a good time to panic!

I have jumped off a 2 story balcony and undergone professional treatment for arachnopobia (which by the way made it worse); it's fierce. So I start praying and sent my son hunting with his shoe. He couldn't find it. Praise Jesus it never found me.

However. Should the situation arise in the future, the code word is Charlotte. If you ever, see anything, with more than 4 legs, Kill it and yell Charlotte! Friends, I drove like I had Terets. I twitched, brushed and randomly hollered for the rest of the drive.

Talk about learning to listen to my children. Luke 7:35 says Wisdom is proved right by her children. ...and never in all my life have I been so grateful to get out of the car.

On second thought, maybe next time I should bring the cat.

On the Road Again,


Robin @ Be Still and Know said...

Great idea!

Spiders don't send me over the edge but I will freak out every time I have to drive over a suspension bridge!


Sara said...

Oh girl this is pee-yor-pants funny!
I don't like spiders either, but I love sending Rob after them, I'll say "Rob, there's a spider..." He'll get up all mucho. Then as soon as he sees it he changes. He walks gingerly,trying to be stealth like. Grabs a tissue and hands it by the very end tip, gathers his ahem, courage and launches a swipe. Yeah, you heard me a SWIPE. You don't swipe at spiders! If it's on the ceiling it'll fall to God only knows where. If it's on the wall same thing and if it's on the ground it has made you and is scuttling to safty only to sneak up on you later. You never swipe a spider! You've got to make a quick hard crack right on top of it. Preferably with as you said a shoe, or a shampoo bottle. I've been known to twack it with my hair brush. (I then SOAK my hair brush in vinager!) BLAH!
But as he's swiping, he's screaming. Like a little girl YEEK!
Now we've lost sight of the spider AND he's turned pansy on me. NICE. GREAT. Oh, and you don't want to bring a CAT in the car. I got stories for you about THAT!

Jennifer said...

LOL!!!! I'm that way with snakes...

RockWallaby said...

Oh Carollyn, I don't like to laugh at other's misfortunes, but I have tears rolling down my cheeks picturing you driving with Terets.
Funny, funny.

Hey, that 'mummy's-on-the-phone' pheromone must be universal. Same affect on my kids!

Thanks for the laugh.

Kieliszeks said...

I jusst had to read this story again b/c as yucky as it is for you it seems to make me smile. Stillinf imagining you terets driving.