Monday, June 29, 2009

Not All Sand Sinks

Riddle me this. I owe $14,000 on a vehicle that is only worth $6,000 because $8,000 of debt from X's lease was put into this loan. With the market as is, there isn't a bank with money in it that will refinance it because it is so far upside down. I can't sell it because the loan holder will not release the title until it is paid in full. I can't let it be repossessed because I will still owe thousands of dollars for a vehicle I can't even drive. And I can't afford it. I put 1,000 miles a month on my vehicle for visitation trips alone. Between the payment, the gas and insurance, I spend almost $800 a month on my car. Not great when that's an entire paycheck. Super bad when I don't get child support.

Soooo... what's left? File bankruptcy? Immediately disqualified for Habitat For Humanity for 3 years. I don't know about you, but I can't seem to find any outrageously wealthy long lost uncles in my family tree.

I was talking with a friend at work today and she said, "you're gaining ground!" I immediately blurted out, yeah, but it's sandy ground. God is so good to me - the first thought after that - Normandy was a beach.

D-day of WWII started on sandy ground, on a beach. My favorite quote is, "Victory belongs to those who believe in it the most and believe in it the longest. We're gonna believe." I can't possibly see how, but God is going to help me take the beach. And once I get that under my feet, I'm going after the hill.

God gave Solomon wisdom and very great insight, and a breadth of understanding as measureless as the sand on the seashore. (1 Kings 4:29)

Me too, God, me too,
Carolynn

9 comments:

Sara@i.Sass said...

Lady, you INSPIRE me!
email me we need to nail down some plans.

imbeingheldhostage said...

My "fixit" personality has me biting my lips over this one. I wish I had some great advice or some solutions for the car, but C, you have what really counts intact-- your faith is amazing. I know I keep saying how you inspire me, but it's because you keep doing it that I end up sounding like I have a limited vocabulary.

Hugs!

Annette said...

You are one couragous woman!!!! You just keep on truckin no matter what!!! Sorry about the habitat for humanity and the car.....but if I were in your shoes I probably would have filed bankruptcy by now. If x doesn't pay child support then maybe he could go the extra distance to pick up kiddos instead of you meeting him half way. Just a suggestion...

Heather of the EO said...

Chills...

beautiful, inspiring post!

Growin' with it! said...

this really encouraged me carolynn. i'm at that spot with many things, mostly financial and looking backwards makes me feel like i'm sinking. so great words today my friend!

Ron said...

Carolynn ..

I have wanted to say this for some time now but kept looking for the right place .. this may or may not be the right place, but here it is ..

I am proud of you and how you have grown.

Now, I am just a nobody .. that is to say that me being proud of you will not get you a new loan or even a cup of coffee at your local MickeyD ..

I want you to see what I see .. the amazing journey you are on and the strides you have taken already .. remember when we first 'met' .. you blogged under a pseudonym .. you were a secretive scared little blogger finding her way to express herself somewhat ..

Now, in just that short time, you are open and exposed .. you revealed your name (big step) and now you have even went as far as to put your picture on the blog (gasp) .. Can you see how far God has brought you in this short time?

He didn't start you on this journey to abandon you .. He didn't bring you this far to leave you now .. there is a song we used to sing in church which said .. "He didn't bring us this far to leave us, He didn't teach us to swim just to let us drown, He didn't build His home in us just to move away, He didn't lift us up, just to let us down."

Phil 1:6
"Being confident of this very thing, that he which hath begun a good work in you will perform it until the day of Jesus Christ:"

Kieliszeks said...

I wish I had a cure for your financial troubles but it seems like we are all struggling. All we can do is keep our head up and do the best we can. We just got ourselves into over $500 car payments again with the 3rd kid on the way so I feel your pain.

3 Bay B Chicks said...

The comment from Ron is humbling and brought tears to my eyes. After reading both your post, I had so many questions and, if I am being really honest, was angry. Angry that crappy things happen to the best of people. However, Ron, with his eternal eloquence, reminded me of many, many important facts.

I am glad that he is with us on this journey. I hope his words have a similar effect on you, my friend.

-Francesca

Forgotten Katalyst said...

You never cease to amaze me darlin'. How'd you get so darned SMART?